Our Aggressively Inarticulate Generation

I had a long conversation with a very good friend yesterday morning about a difficulty he has encountered at the church he serves and essentially it is a doctrinal matter. Doctrinal matters tend to express themselves in very real and practical ways in congregational life and we were talking about ways to handle what he has been dealing with. He made a statement that has become a problem not just in church life, but as we were talking I extended it to include the sum total of society, and especially young people.

He said that it is unbelievable that many Christians are unable to really articulate what they believe. This is due in large part to many folks simply believing they already have it together and hence no need to really study or define oneself as a Christian. More likely their identification with an institution or organization becomes expression enough to then make a de facto response such as "Well, Southern Baptists (for example) believe..." In fact they really have not addressed the content of the question. What do you believe?

The ability to express oneself has taken on a completely different meaning and in spite of the widespread availability to education and even self-helps. In our media saturated society and the txtmsging vernacular that has overridden everyday speech it is no wonder young people even have the ability to express themselves.

Because, like, you know, I like went to the grocery store yesterday, to like pick up a few things, for my BFF, you know, my wife, and when I like put my stu-uff on the you know, the rolly thingy, I gave a shot-out to the clerk. I like, said, "Good afternoon. How are you today?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm cool man. You cool?"

"Yeah, I'm cool; despite the searing heat outside."

"Huh? What kind of heat?"

And so it goes. I was reminded of this comedian after that brief diddy of an exchange. Its about three minutes, and he can express himself much better than I can. :)



The conversations here at The RP have reminded me of the need and ability to express oneself. To Joe I owe a debt of thanks--and here's to a few more "articulate" convos at The RP. :)

Thought for the Day

If all we want to do is produce people who look like Christians, our responsibility is fulfilled when people say and do the "right" things.

Eric Wallace, writing on discipleship in Uniting Church and Home

A Final Look at Keeping Our Children's Hearts

I finished Keeping Our Children's Hearts: Our Vital Priority by Steven and Teri Maxwell. The overarching premise of the book, explained by the title, is apropos. It is something much needed in the milieu of contemporary society where children are generally treated not as blessings and familial assets, which the Bible teaches they are, but as liabilities that put a strain on families.

I found myself in strong agreement with that general premise and even the Scriptural basis for the penning of the book, Proverbs 23:26: "My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways." However, the exegesis to justify "sheltering", a key concept of the book, was strained. To be fair, Steve Maxwell is not theologically trained (not that that really makes a difference) but many of the verses he uses he pushes their meanings too far to achieve his own end.

A biblical case may be made for "sheltering" 'a la Maxwell, but Steve drew his theological justification from typical child-raising passages; Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and Ephesians 6:4 and sprinkled a few ethical passages to make his points. I would have been much more comfortable with that section of the book had he just said, "This is what we practice in our family and I found it works," rather than making a strained Biblical case.

The Maxwells also advocate an isolationist approach that is separationist and even monkish in its ideal. I addressed this approach in the comment stream of this post and found agreement that isolationism can be as unhealthy for children as outright exposure to all manner of evil. To quote myself from that stream,

Their strict isolationist view is in my mind, more dangerous than allowing them to do whatever they want. If you shelter a child to the extent that they never see anything of the world it will generate a hunger in them to see it, a premise that is antithetical to their perceived goals in the book!

Balance and knowing your child is the key. The book also seemed to be written with a condescending tone. Having talked to Steve personally at a conference once before, I did feel his discourse was tinged with a bit of patronization. He seemed to hold judgment against parents that did not follow their prescribed methods and that all other methods were inferior. They characterize their approach as "biblical" which is perfectly fine, but their are other methods that are also "biblical" and the Maxwells seem to have no room in their view for any other and that another approach might be equally valid.

I also found the book very short on application; though there were some tender and appealing stories about sheltering their own kids, little practical instruction was given on how to begin "sheltering" at home, if it something that you haven't been doing all along. The Maxwells approached their method as one that you must do at the outset of parenting and if you haven't been "sheltering" all along then their is the high probability that you will fail. No remedy is offered for failure which is the book's most significant weakness. The fulcrum tilts toward law; following the rules, unquestioning obedience, absolute parental authority, yet very little grace to encourage that behavior. Vignettes of grace are sprinkled throughout the book's pages yet grace does not seem to be the motivating factor. I found the overarching tone to be that if you are not raising your children this way then you are inferior parents.

This leads me to why I would probably not recommend this book to church folks or other parents unless they have highly discerning hearts. Though the overall premise is sound, it is lost in the way it is presented. It is not the worst book I have read on parenting, but unfortunately, neither is it the best.

Mithras and Jesus Christ

I have been involved in conversations with a striking, new but regular commenter on both of my blogs. He goes by JoeG and he has raised some interesting questions at another blog he and I both patronize. I have promised to begin some threads here to talk about some of these issues and this is the first in what I hope to be a series of installments about what we have been talking about, "supposed" pagan origins of Christianity. I have been exploring this issue for a while and hope to speak with some coherence. In my digging I have found several similarities between Mithras and Christ, and notably, the Mithras story predates the birth of Christ. We here at The RP will kick off our discussion by simply noting those similarities.

• Mithra was born of a virgin on December 25th in a cave, and his birth was attended by shepherds.
• He was considered a great traveling teacher and master.
• He had 12 companions or disciples.
• Mithra's followers were promised immortality.
• He performed miracles.
• As the "great bull of the Sun," Mithra sacrificed himself for world peace.
• He was buried in a tomb and after three days rose again.
• His resurrection was celebrated every year.
• He was called "the Good Shepherd" and identified with both the Lamb and the Lion.
• He was considered the "Way, the Truth and the Light," and the "Logos," "Redeemer," "Savior" and "Messiah."
• His sacred day was Sunday, the "Lord's Day," hundreds of years before the appearance of Christ.
• Mithra had his principal festival of what was later to become Easter.
• His religion had a eucharist or "Lord's Supper," at which Mithra said, "He who shall not eat of my body nor drink of my blood so that he may be one with me and I with him, shall not be saved."

My initial contention would be that any similarities between the two don’t necessarily mean that one borrowed from the other. Moreover, does Christianity need any outside influence to develop its doctrines? All of the teachings of Christ have significant foundation in the Old Testament. These initial observations do not reconcile the similarities, but it gives us a place to begin.

Sin on a Bun

I am working on a couple of posts right now but I came across this post by Joe Carter today that deserves a few minutes perusal and reflection. He blogs on the forgotten vice of gluttony. Check this quote to whet your appetite (pun intended).

Gluttony was once listed among the seven deadly sins. But now it's considered, when it's thought about at all, as a private health matter. We may realize that overeating has led to weight gain, a change in appearance, or diminished health. But we never recognize it as a spiritual problem.

Oddly enough, with the exception of those related to sex, American Christians tend to take an antinomian view of "physical sins." We act as if corrupting our bodies will have no impact on our souls. Such an un-Biblical view, however, must be rejected by anyone who acknowledges that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

The Maxwells on Sibling Relationships

Maintaining good relationships between siblings is difficult. I read this section of the Maxwells' book with great interest and gleaned much insight from it, unlike some of the areas of the book I have already blogged and commented on in the threads. Having five children, situations can get pretty tense at times yet I do desire that my children have good relationships with one another.

We want to build strong relationships between the children. This can happen by encouraging them to spend time with each other rather than others. When our older children were younger, before we began sheltering as we now do, we found that the more they played with friends, the less nice they were to their siblings. They seemed to always prefer to be with a friend rather than their own brother or sister. Their attitudes toward each other were more unkind and sarcastic. Through sheltering from the negative influences of friends, we have gained the benefit of solid brother and sister relationships.

As per the Maxwells' ideology, they go a little far for my comfort. I have seen the things the Maxwells describe in my children's lives, but also have seen some benefits. I wish the Maxwells had made some delineation and not a blanket statement as it seems they are making; "all friendships are bad" or "all friendships have negative results."

I have seen this play out with my children, that when they were around less than kind children, their attitudes and demeanor tended to rub off on them. Water does run downhill, after all. However, some friendships have had positive impact upon them. Needless to say, all relationships involve an element of risk--opening your heart, to use their terminology, and it seems they are unwilling for that to occur.

There are times when parents should make hard decisions; that perhaps the child should not be playing or spending time with another child, for whatever reason. There may be times when a child may have to be told that they do not get to spend time with another child. However, eradicating any hope of positive influence for the sake of protecting them from some negative seems to me to be an overreach that could have less than beneficial results later in life.

Ultimately, I share the Maxwells' hope that my children have hearts that are turned toward one another, that they would desire to spend time with one another and develop those bonds that last a lifetime. However, to discount the possibility of friendships is neither healthy nor biblical. I think of Abraham being called a friend of God, David's and Jonathan's relationship, Christ's relationships with His disciples, and ultimately, that Christ is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

It is my prayer that my children develop solid sibling relationships, but I believe that they can be cultivated without precluding any other relationships that could be of potentially lifelong benefit as well.

Some Funny

Talk about a paranoid parent. This exclamation actually happened.

One of my daughters was pushing the stroller around the yard today. I did not have a clear line of sight on either her or the stroller, but I could see that she had the stroller tilted up into a "wheelie." I yelled, "Leah, stop! You're gonna dump Michael out of there! He will get hurt!"

My other daughter, Lily, said, "Uh, Daddy...you're...holding...Michael."

Yep. Paranoid.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day

Ever Feel This Way?

I sure do.

The Maxwells on Sports

More from Steve and and Teri Maxwell and their book, Keeping Our Children's Hearts. Up to this point in the book I have agreed with the Maxwell's take on several areas. However, there is a subtle flaw in their thinking. They dedicate a short section to sports and this is the quotation:

There is another danger in sports that can cause you to lose your child's heart--the coach. It is a fact that those under a coach's authority are highly influenced by him. In other words, the hearts of the team members are drawn to their coach. Even if the coach is a positive role model, if your child's heart is pulled to him, it is being drawn away from you. When that happens, your ability to guide your child's life is potentially diminished. Why allow this?

After reading this section of the book, it finally became clear to me what the needling sensation was that has overridden the entire course of the book. Something had been prodding me about the Maxwells' general attitude toward their children and though I agree with the general principle behind sheltering, the key premise of the book, as well as how essential sheltering is to keeping your child's heart, it became clear to me that the Maxwells are pushing for an authoritarianism I am not completely comfortable with.

My seven-year old daughter plays soccer so my ire was not provoked simply because I have a daughter playing a sport. However, the Maxwells are following a "b necessarily follows a" pattern. Just because my daughter plays soccer does not mean we will lose her heart; quite the contrary. I can see their concerns and how that might be troubling for some parents, but if I have my child's heart, can I not delegate authority unto another and not feel as if my sheltering has been done in vain or fear "losing" her?

I believe that authority can be delegated in such a way. God delegates authority and I believe this is a general principle the Maxwells have overlooked. God has delegated authority to several institutions; He has given some unto government, some unto the church, some unto the family, divided upon the mother and father.

The government has authority in areas the church doesn't have; the church in areas the government does not. The family has authority the church does not have. God has delegated authority unto the husband that the wife does not have. Even Jesus recognized Himself as one under the authority of another. When my daughter plays soccer, it is necessary that she is under the authority of the coach; otherwise she will not play the game well. The Maxwells' position seems to cross the line of pure authoritarianism and not loving parenting.

Parents can effectively delegate their authority unto another without the threat of losing their child. The authority delegated to the coach is not necessarily an authority that should concern a parent. His responsibility is to teach the child to play a game--that is what I expect out of my daughter's coach. I do expect him to teach sportsmanship but that is about as close as I expect him to get to teaching values, morality, and ethics.

Authority is not a tenuous thing in my home, so that is perhaps where my umbrage arises. Sports can become an idol in a child's life yet it can also be an appropriate and beneficial activity. Not knowing the Maxwells personally I can only offer this as conjecture, but it seems that their positions on authority seem to be borne almost of paranoia of losing their own kids and that drives their premises rather than a balanced look at the Scriptures.

A family should shelter their children from horrible things in the world, but to completely disengage from society is neither healthy nor biblical. A parent ought to be comfortable delegating some authority out to another, particularly in areas where the parent has no experience (I cannot effectively teach my daughter to play soccer). If this is done correctly, the child will see no confusion there and that that person's authority extends only into the realm into which it has been delegated.

Another Pertinent Quote

In light of a post I recently wrote at sbc Impact, Holy Competition, I came across this quote from Jared Wilson via Joe Carter:

Warning: If you treat your church like a business, you will treat other churches like your competition.

A Pertinent Quote

Too many unsaved see Christianity as a clique that meets for self-congratulation or theological debate or purely social activity, and has little to do with the struggles of everyday life.

Eric Wallace, Uniting Church and Home

My New Favorite Commercial

Seeing as how we just had a little boy, that makes this all the more meaningful. Plus, seeing as how the little guy squirted me at just a few days of age. Enjoy!

New Post at Impact

I have a new post at SBCImpact! I hope you will check it out.

Thoughts on Breakthroughs in the SBC

The Maxwells on Television

From Steve and Terri Maxwell, Keeping our Children's Hearts

"I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes..." (Psalm 101:3). Television is filled with wickedness and evil. Even if there are shows that would be okay, the commercials won't be acceptable. How can we expect to keep our sons' hearts if they are continually exposed to immorality and immodestly dressed women on television? Will our daughters want to be morally pure when continually exposed to romance that is idolized on television? Won't our children's hearts be drawn to being entertained if they are allowed to spend their time in front of the television? Will we grow an appetite in our children for laziness by letting them watch? Consider well the spiritual outcomes of children watching television.

I share the Maxwells' concerns about television, and they go on to suggest that nothing good can come of any media experience. Though I have enjoyed many of the premises of this book, several of their ideas about sheltering seem a bit overstated.

Our Example as Parents

I have been reading the Maxwell's book, Keeping Our Children's Hearts, and I came across this quote in my reading today from J.C Ryle, a quote the Maxwell's reference in regards to the example parents need to be to their children.

Instruction, and advice, and commands will profit little, unless they are backed up by the pattern of your won life. Your children will never believe you are in earnest, and really wish them to obey you, so long as your actions contradict your counsel.

Sound advice that may have a more broader application than just the relationship between parent and children.

Lousy Church Signs!!!

I have to start out with the recent flap down in Jonesville, SC with the Church of God pastor who placed on their church sign:

Obama, Osama
Hummm
Are they brothers?

Several friends and even my dear, dear sweet mother-in-law emailed to let me know about this one and I waited around to see what the church decided to do about it. As I understand, the church decided unanimously to keep the sign up but then by this past Tuesday afternoon, due to public pressure, the pastor decided to take it down. Good blog friend Streak posted on this one as it broke the news, so I let my commentary rest.

The next one incorporates the new teen text messaging vernacular with Holy Writ.

Read the Bible
The Holy Spirit Will
Send You a Txt Msg

And maybe He will be your BFF 2. Then this one, a new twist on divine math, with hackneyed spelling to boot:

Tuff Love
1 Cross
3 Nails

Nope, no "4 Given" in that one. Guess that part wasn't important enuff to put on the sign. This next one I link from a friend's blog who has got some guts to post this sign. After posting he emailed to let me know about it; I commented on his chutzpah. Well, as luck (or fate, or chance, or whatever) would have it, another friend sent me this one! So, in response to brother Chris' lousy church sign, Ewwwwwww!!!


I know, this one just about crosses the line--it ain't fit to be on a sign, much less reposted on a blog. (Incidentally, Evangelism Coach is the best evangelism blog you will read on the net.) A few more to round the post out, sans my wit:

God Does Not
Believe in Atheists
Therefore Atheists
Do Not Exist

Forgive Your
Enemies--It Messes
With Their Heads

Free Coffee
Everlasting Life
Yes Membership Has
Its Privileges

Don't Be So
Open-Minded
Your Brains
Fall Out

God So Loved the World
That He Didn't
Send a Committee

Believe it or not, that one was on a Disciples of Christ church sign, and NOT BAPTIST!! (Oops, I said I wasn't going to commentate...or something...) This next one never gets old.

Read the Bible-It Will
Scare the Hell Out of You

This one is my favorite in this installment of LCS, and on an Assembly of God church sign!

Artificial Intelligence
Is No Match For
Natural Stupidity

Oh, and by the way, you can create your own church signs now! Too much fun. Too much.

Boy Reads Entire Bible; Obedience Made the Difference

These are a couple of articles I would like to point everyone to from the For Faith and Family Blog. The first is an encouraging article about a boy, eleven years old, who read through the entire Bible in two years. He did not sway from the task his mom and dad said, "He did it all on his own," with no encouragement from them.

“I wanted to get closer in my faith to the Lord,” says Graves. He recommends reading the Bible from Genesis straight through to Revelation. “I don’t really like skipping around,” he says.

Graves likes the Gospels but also enjoys the history books. “But you can’t leave out the minor and major letters of Paul,” he says.

Graves learned a lot while reading his way through the Scripture. “I learned it doesn’t matter how young or old you are, you still have to witness to other people,” he says.

A great picture of the boy in his Scout uniform is at the blog. The second article is the testimony from a personal friend that surfaces occasionally on the web in SBC circles (his link is in the sidebar). It comes from Tim Wilkins, coordinator of Cross Ministry out of Wake Forest, NC. Tim came out of a homsexual lifestyle and now ministers to other homosexuals; the tagline of his ministry is More than Words, meaning that it takes more than words to lead a homosexual to faith in Christ. The quote that always stands out to me when I read Tim's testimony follows:

My sporadic homosexual activity continued until my early twenties, when I decided that although I honestly did not know how to be heterosexual, I did know how to be obedient.

Obedience makes all the difference in following Christ. Have a blessed Thursday.

Some Funny

I was talking with a family we had just met at my daughter's soccer practice...which by the way, I am coaching defense, how cool is that??!!?? Bet all y'all didn't know that, huh? Well, anyway...

The family's daughter was wearing some extremely cool sports glasses. I remarked how cool I thought they were and they began explaining an eye disorder that she had that necessitated the special glasses.

I expressed my dismay and then asked, "Is it congenital?"

"Oh no, she was born that way."

Sigh.

Keeping our Children's Hearts

As a parent, what is the most valuable thing you can think of? There may be several answers to that question. My oldest child is now ten years old and already I can see and feel the subtle effects of a world vying for her attention. The world exerts a strong pull. How can I as a concerned father who loves his children counter this phenomenon? The Apostle John teaches us, "Do not love the world or the things in the world (1 John 2:15)," but possessing such a natural bent to love that which God abhors, how can I as a fallible man with the same natural tendency, keep his children from falling away from the faith later on in their lives?

I am steadily becoming convinced that the answer lies in who possesses the child's heart. Scripture teaches us much about the human heart; its proclivity to sin, its various expressions, its need to be guarded, and also its need to be held. The heart represents who you are; often you have heard someone described as having a "good heart" or a "bad heart". It is a description of who that person is at a fundamental level.

I am reading a book by Steve and Teri Maxwell, Keeping Our Children's Hearts. (I hope to list a full review of the book on the blog soon.) The authors state a fundamental premise to parenting and one that I have, to a degree, failed: to keep our children from abandoning the faith altogether when they are older, we must posses their hearts when they are younger.

As I have read the first several chapters, I have found that much of my parenting and discipline has not been borne of my relationship with my kids but rather more like behavior modification techniques; "you do this or x, y, and z will happen." The premise is so true; though God does discipline His children (Hebrews 12:5-11) and God expects (and even demands) obedience, He desires that we obey Him out of a heart of love for him.

Now don't get me wrong, my kids love me and I love them. Don't read that I have been an utter failure as a daddy in that sentence! However, I do not naturally have their hearts, as God does not naturally have mine. It may be possible to raise good, godly children yet not have their hearts. In my short tenure of ministry I have heard lament after lament of how a child had slipped away and was consumed by the world, having fallen away from faith in Christ. They make statements such as, "They're good kids, they just don't go to church like they should"; or, "Christ was such a vital part of their lives when they were younger, now, not so much."

My goal is to raise good, godly kids, not just now, but to give them a faith that will remain. It is not enough to have kids that behave well, do not cause any problems, or simply "mind". What is best are kids that love Christ and all that emanates from that love. And that is why the most valuable things in my life, as a parent, are my children's hearts.